The Path to Success is Paved with Positive Thinking

Tips on how to discover and fulfill your dreams:

1. Stop being your own worst enemy. Be your own best friend.

2. Don’t put yourself down. Pull yourself up.

3. Don’t permit others to define who you are. You cannot be a failure without your own consent.

4. Respect yourself. Place a high value on yourself.

5. Take stock of who you are and what you’re capable of. Work on weaknesses and find new strengths every day.

6. Replace “I can’t” with “I can” and “I will.”

7. Treat yourself generously, the way you want others to treat you.

8. Be compassionate. Love yourself and others will love you.

9. Remember that you are an individual expression of God’s work. You are priceless and irreplaceable.

10. Visualize what you want from life, then, work toward it. See it, then, be it.

11. Allow time to be by yourself, with yourself. Take time to appreciate yourself.

12. Enjoy your uniqueness. Out of all the billions of people since the beginning of time, there has never been, and never will be, another you.

13. Realize that you are important to the entire world; what happens to the world begins with you.

Seven Steps to Reaching Your Goals

Successfully executing any personal strategic plan for change requires that as you develop your plan, you effectively incorporate these seven steps for attaining each and every goal:



1.  Express your goal in terms of specific events or behaviors.

For a dream to become a goal, it has to be specifically defined in terms of operations, meaning what will be done. When a goal is broken down into steps, it can be managed and pursued much more directly. "Being happy," for example, is neither an event, or a behavior.  When you set out to identify a goal, define what you want in clear and specific terms.



2.  Express your goal in terms that can be measured.

How else will you be able to determine your level of progress, or even know when you have successfully arrived where you wanted to be? For instance, how much money do you aspire to make?



3.  Assign a timeline to your goal.

Once you have determined precisely what it is you want, you must decide on a timeframe for having it. The deadline you've created fosters a sense of urgency or purpose, which in turn will serve as an important motivator, and prevent inertia or procrastination.



4.  Choose a goal you can control.

Unlike dreams, which allow you to fantasize about events over which you have no control, goals have to do with aspects of your existence that you control and can, therefore, manipulate. In identifying your goal, strive for what you can create, not for what you can't.



5.  Plan and program a strategy that will get you to your goal.

Pursuing a goal seriously requires that you realistically assess the obstacles and resources involved, and that you create a strategy for navigating that reality. Willpower is unreliable, fickle fuel because it is based on your emotions. Your environment, your schedule and your accountability must be programmed in such a way that all three support you — long after an emotional high is gone. Life is full of temptations and opportunities to fail. Those temptations and opportunities compete with your more constructive and task-oriented behavior. Without programming, you will find it much harder to stay the course.



6. Define your goal in terms of steps.

Major life changes don't just happen; they happen, one step at a time. Steady progress, through well-chosen, realistic, interval steps, produces results in the end. Know what those steps are before you set out.



7. Create accountability for your progress toward your goal.

Without accountability, people are apt to con themselves. If you know precisely what you want, when you want it — and there are real consequences for not doing the assigned work — you are much more likely to continue in your pursuit of your goal. Find someone in your circle of family or friends to whom you can be accountable. Make periodic reports on your progress.

BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE

Are you fairly confident in your own shoes? When do you feel your best? When do you feel the most insecure? Even the most confident individuals go through periods of self-doubt. I am pretty secure in who I am and what I believe, but there are plenty of days where everything seems to go against me and the voice of fear pops up. As long as this feeling is few and far between, it doesn't affect me all that much. Are there areas of your life where you are a bit insecure? It is very natural to feel confident in certain areas and lack the confidence in others. That means there is room for growth! Remember nobody is perfect, so don't beat yourself up over your flaws. There are many things you can do to improve and boost your confidence. Just like you need to weight train in order to build your muscles, you need to take part in daily activities to boost you confidence. The people you associate with play an important role in your self confidence. If the people you surround yourself with are constantly criticizing you or your abilities, of course you are going to harbor feelings of self-doubt. Be extremely picky in who you allow into your life! Just remember that self-confidence is a learned response over time. You put yourself in situations that will ultimately boost your confidence level. Here are some tips to get you started this week:


ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:


1. Set and achieve goals
Setting and then achieving goals will boost your confidence. Most people however, set unrealistic goals that are difficult to achieve. When you continue to fail in your goals, then, of course, your confidence plummets. For now, write down some realistic goals and the steps needed to achieve them. Crossing off even one step at a time will boost your confidence.


2. Participate in activities you enjoy
By participating in activities you enjoy, you are focusing on your strengths and passions. Highlighting your strengths instead of your weaknesses adds up over time. Commit to taking some time each and every day to do something you enjoy. This seems fairly simple, but most people don't prioritize and set aside this time.


3. List past successes
Make a list of all your past achievements and success stories. It is amazing that we spend so much time and energy focusing on what we have done wrong, instead of remembering all we did right. Make this list and then read it when feelings of self-doubt begin to invade your mind. Keep this list handy and pat yourself on the back when you need a little boost.

"FAILURE AS FEEDBACK"

How do most of you define failure? Does it bring up a negative feeling? Or, can you think of it in terms of being useful in getting you where you want to go? What if I told you that only you have the power to decide whether or not something is indeed, a "failure".  Let's assume for all practical reasons that 'today', failure means success. How can you possibly acknowledge your success at the same time you are vocalizing failure? Here are some examples: being able to recognize that everything hadn't gone according to the plan, or you didn't achieve the desired outcome, is in itself a positive outcome; that the specific path you took this time around, clearly wasn't the right one, and so it has been successfully eliminated and will not be repeated; that you'll know to do things differently in the future; that the experience has enabled you to grow in some way.  "Failure" can simply be a great way to get us to pause in the midst of our process. This pause allows us to possibly change directions, try something new, continue our learning, or shift our focus. Imagine what would happen if we didn't get that feedback, and continued endlessly along the wrong path, toward the wrong goal, or without ever learning a new approach? Failure, then, can really be seen as positive feedback……information that gets us back on the right track!

ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:

1. Clear idea of end result

     Always have a clear idea of where you want to go and continue to re-evaluate it as you move forward. What direction are you heading? What is your ultimate goal? Spend some time this week writing down what you would like to see in your future. Focus on career, personal development, relationships, balance, etc...

2. Identify milestones

     Identify specific milestones or markers along the way, to let you know you are on the right track. Be sure to celebrate these successes. If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, break that down into five-pound milestones. Each time you lose five pounds, celebrate and acknowledge your success.

3. Continually learn

     If something doesn't appear to be working, or working fast enough, don't hesitate to try something new. Explore why it isn't working and try going about it in a different fashion. Continually learn from others who may have traveled down a similar road before.

Three Most Important Elements to Creating Positive Change

If you open yourself up to the belief that each and every one of you has an inner strength that can be utilized when you need it most, you can begin to move forward.

ACTION STEPS:

1. Clarify

    The first step in moving forward is clarifying what specifically you would like in your life. This means clarifying what is lacking and then clarifying what you would like more of. What would your ideal life look like? Take a minute to write down what you would love to see in your career, in your relationships, in your personal growth and for your health.

2. Create

     Once you have clarified what you would like to see in your life, it is time to create the blueprint. Your dreams will not be realized on their own, you need to create a specific plan. What steps can you take? What markers can you use at points of achievement? What do you need to do on a monthly, weekly and daily schedule? Create your list.

3. Commit

     Once you have created a plan, you need to commit to the process. Nothing worth achieving is going to happen overnight. You need to acknowledge that what you are striving for is worth the time and commitment. Commit to doing whatever you can to increase your chances of succeeding. Bring on the support of friends, work with a life coach, talk to a therapist, or work with a physical trainer.

Thinking of Changing Careers?

I see clients all the time who are unhappy at work and wish to pursue other avenues. However, they don't know how to get from where they currently are to where they want to go. They can clarify for me bits and pieces of what they would love to do, but then they get stuck. Are you in a similar position right now in your life? Would you love to change professions but feel a bit hesitant to the process of where to begin? So many people hear other people talk about 'life purpose', but they have no idea what their purpose is or how to reveal it. They think their purpose needs to be something extraordinary and unique. I try to simplify things so that they begin with small steps and move forward at a pace that is not overwhelming or daunting. After discussing one's past and highlighting what brings them joy and fulfillment now in their life, a purpose will organically reveal itself over time. Individuals sometimes focus so much energy on possible future scenarios that they can't take the first steps needed to create their dream. If you constantly worry about something that needs to be accomplished in the distance, you will slow yourself down from even beginning the journey. Let's say for example you want to start your own business. If all you think about is how you are going to get enough help to manage the holiday orders, you are passing up many other tasks that need to be addressed first. Start at the beginning and work your way up. This week I want to help clarify some career options that might be fun for you to explore.

ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:

1. Review life story

    This is your chance to review your life and pick out the highlights. Go as far back as you can and write down what stands out as far as positive memories. Is there a similar theme? Do several memories include standing up in front of people? Do many highlights include when you traveled to other parts of the world? Maybe every time you were around children you felt alive and full of energy. These highlights in your life stand out for a reason. Take a good look at what you wrote down.

2. What do you hate?

    A tactic many career coaches use to help clients determine a possible new profession is to have them describe in detail what they hate about their current profession. You need to be extremely specific here if you can. Do you dislike the never-ending hours and week-end hours you have to work? Do you hate sitting in a cubicle typing numbers when you are a creative person? Do you dread office politics? List everything you dislike about your current position and then list the exact opposite for every dislike. If you hate sitting in a cubicle, the exact opposite job would allow you freedom and travel.

3. What do you value?

    If you are going to explore new possibilities, it is important you go about it the right way. Don't pursue a profession that is not in alignment with what you value. I guarantee you will be miserable years down the road if you do. For example, let's say you value family time. Then, let's say you interview for a position that requires a lot of travel and evening hours. It may seem like the perfect job, and at the beginning, it may feel that way. However, spending a lot of time away from your family, something you value more than anything else, will wear on you over time. This job will not seem so fantastic down the road. Know what you value and then pursue professions that honor these values.

Are You a Victim of Domestic Violence?

If one in every four women will be a victim of domestic violence at some point in their lifetime, it is safe to assume that we all know of someone who has been affected. The first step to ending this devastating epidemic is to be cognizant of the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence.  Awareness can turn into a solution.

Warning Signs

·          A partner who puts their significant other down and says hurtful things

·          A partner who discourages one from having any close relationships with family or friends

·          A partner who places blame and guilt  for their own mistakes

·          A partner who makes all the decisions in the relationship

·          A partner who acts very jealous

·          A partner who makes one feel worthless and helpless

·          A partner who throws objects

·          A partner who physically assaults, such as slapping, kicking, etc.

·          A partner who forbids independent activities such as work or school

·          A partner who physically abuses the pets or children when angry at other things

·          A partner who controls access to money, medication, or necessities

·          A partner who demands sex or sexual activities that one does not feel comfortable with or agree to

·          A partner who sees one as an object

·          A partner who is constantly checking-up

Symptoms

·           Physical signs such as bruises on the arms, wrist, or face

·           Attempting to cover up bruises with makeup or clothing

·           Being extremely apologetic or meek

·           Making up stories and excuses about clumsiness and being accident prone, rather than telling the truth 

            Being very isolated from family and friends

·           Having very low self-esteem

·           Showing symptoms of depression

·           Having limited money, access to the phone or car, etc

·           Problems with drugs or alcohol

·           Exhibiting the warning signs of suicide

If you or someone you know is or has been a victim of domestic abuse, please reach out for help immediately.  National Domestic Violence Hotline  (800) 799-3224     

If you are interested in seeking counseling regarding domestic violence, which I specialize in, please visit my web site at www.newlifecounselingservice.com.  I offer discounted rates to those who qualify.